


shinji's love triangle story

by shinjiikari0



Series: shinji's stories [6]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Crack, Memes, Multi, OOC, Other, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:46:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7052215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinjiikari0/pseuds/shinjiikari0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does a two-sided shape exist? Shinji is definitely not in a love triangle. The memes have caused him this pain.</p><p>(contains: intentional ooc, swearing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	shinji's love triangle story

**Author's Note:**

> i put the pairing down as "other" because i don't know what category kaworu/dat boi would go under

　　"Kaworu, I am in excruciatingly miserable pain. All these memes are the cause of it. Memes are the bane of my already petty existence. If someone were to give me a birthday card with a frog on it, I would fling it into the sun."  
　　"... What is a meme?"  
　　I glance over Kaworu's shoulder. Pointing directly in front of me, I say, " _That_ is a meme."  
　　Kaworu turns around and is greeted by a low-quality, poorly-rendered, pixilated, green frog on a unicycle. It appears much more serious in the orange hues of the sunset.  
　　"Oh," Kaworu hums. " _Here comes dat boi_."  
　　" _O shit waddup_ ," I groan.  
　　"Hello, citizens!" _dat boi_ shouts off-puttingly. "It is I, _dat boi_! Shinji Ikari, I request an audience with you!"  
　　"... O-okay?" I hesitantly agree, still startled by the meme's loud, disconcerting voice. All I hear is a series of loud frog croaks that sound vaguely similar to words. "As long as you're not trying to coerce me into joining a weird meme cult or something."  
　　"I assure you, dearest Shinji, that I will do nothing of the sort! I have come bearing a message! It is a message from deep within my heart!"  
　　"Why are you screaming?"  
　　"It is to effectively convey the emotions that have sprouted in the depths of my soul! For you, Shinji, are the _here comes dat boi_ to my _o shit waddup_! Come with me and we shall be happy side by side forevermore!"  
　　"... Excuse me?"  
　　"I believe this meme is asking for your hand in marriage, Shinji," Kaworu points out.  
　　"Huh? What does my hand have to do with this? Are we playing Stella-Ella-Ola again?"  
　　"No, Shinji," he sighs. "Do you not remember? You suck at basic children's games."  
　　"That is correct!" _dat boi_ exclaims. "Shinji does suck at simple activities meant for entertaining small children! It is also true that I would like for you to be my bride, Shinji!"  
　　Oh no. How do I politely tell this meme that I already have the hots for Kaworu?! On top of that, I don't think I'd be a very good bride. My body type isn't suited for wedding dresses! I mean what.  
　　However, I don't even get a chance to say anything because Kaworu turns to face _dat boi_ confidently, as if he wants to declare something to the meme. Is... Is he thinking the same thing as me? Maybe he won't let dat boi marry me because he wants to confess his undying love for me and marry me himself! Or he doesn't want to see me in a dress. I mean what.  
　　" _Dat boi_ ," Kaworu announces seriously. "I will not allow you to be wed to Shinji..."  
　　Is this really happening? Is he going to confess to me?!  
　　"... because I wish to marry you myself!"  
　　... What?!  
　　" _O-o shit waddup_!" _dat boi_ exclaims out of surprise. A low-quality blush tints the poorly-rendered features of the frog's face. "What an unexpected turn of events! Tell me, Kaworu Nagisa, what is the reason for your sudden declaration?"  
　　"About ten minutes ago, I did not know what a meme was. In fact, I still do not know what a meme is. However, I have been intrigued by the concept and wish to learn as much as I can about them," he explains passionately. " _Dat boi_ , with your sweet words and impressive unicycle... You are the only meme for me!"  
　　" _Waddup_!" _dat boi_ swoons. "My heart has been captured by your deep red, glittering orbs! I accept your proposal! Let us ride away on my unicycle into the sunset!"  
　　Before I have the chance to say anything else, Kaworu hops onto _dat boi_ 's unicycle and the two of them ride away dramatically towards the horizon.  
　　"... I lost Kaworu to a meme today," I groan, holding my head in my hands. "Memes have ruined my life."

**Author's Note:**

> this is a joke
> 
> thanks for reading?


End file.
